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You Slay Me
Katie MacAlister
Excerpt
Chapter One
"Ezling."
"No, it’s Aisling."
"Azhlee?"
"Aisling. It’s Irish."
The Orly passport control man glared suspiciously at me
over the top of my passport. "Your passport, it says you
are American."
I rallied a smile when I really wanted to scream with
frustration. "I am. My mother was Irish, hence the name
Aisling."
He transferred his glare to the passport. "A-sling."
I tried not to sigh too obviously. I might be brand-
spanking-new to the courier business, but instinctively I
knew that if I showed the least sign of impatience with
being grilled as to the pronunciation of my name, Antoine
the passport man would drag out his interrogation. I
sweetened my smile, pushed down the worry that something
would go wrong with the job, and said very slowly, "It’s
pronounced ash-ling."
"Ash-leen," Antoine said, his eyes narrowing in
concentration.
I nodded. It was close enough.
"Bon, we march forward," he said, flipping through
my passport. "You are five feet and nine inches tall, have
grey eyes, are thirty-one years of age, unmarried, and you
live in Seattle, state of Washington, America. This is all
correct, yes?"
"Yes, except I think of my eyes as being a bit more hazel
than grey, but the passport guy said to put grey down.
Hazel sounds more exotic, don’t you think?"
Antoine cocked an eyebrow at me, briefly examining the
visa that allowed me to act as a courier for Bell & Sons
before moving on to the documents for the aquamanile.
I quickly glanced around, Uncle Damian’s strictures on
perimeter security echoing in my head. Security is your
personal responsibility; your security is not the
responsibility of the police, or of the government, or any
officialsyour first and last line of security is
yourself. Be alert and aware of your surroundings. Radiate
confidence. Never do anything to indicate you are prey.
Easier said than done, I mused as I eyed the large number
of people passing through the airport. Happily, no one was
paying any attention to me or the case I held. I breathed
a silent sigh of relief and raised my chin, trying to look
confident and in control, not at all like a courier in
charge of a six-hundred-year-old small golden statue in
the shape of a dragon that was worth more than what I had
made in the last ten years put together.
Antoine’s gaze flickered to the small black heavy-duty
plastic case I clutched tightly in my right hand. "Do you
have the Inventaire Detaillé?"
"Of course." I passed over the sheets of paper describing
in French the gold aquamanile. The document was stamped by
the San Francisco French consulate, and included an
appraiser’s certificate, as well as a copy of the bill of
sale to Madame Aurora Deauxville, citizen of France and
resident of Paris.
Antoine’s finger tapped on the top document. "What is
this...aquamanile?"
I shifted the case to my left hand, flexing my right
fingers, being careful to keep the case out of sight, held
between me and the examination table. "An aquamanile is a
form of ewer, usually made of metal, used for the ritual
washing of hands by a priest or other liturgical person.
They were very common in medieval times."
Antoine’s eyes widened as he stared at the black case. "It
is a religious artifact you have?"
I gave him a crooked smile. "Not really. Rumor has it that
aquamaniles were sometimes used in...er...dark practices."
He stared. "Dark practices?"
I took in his raised eyebrows and smiled
sympathetically. "Demons," I said succinctly. "Aquamaniles
such as this are said to have been used by powerful mages
to raise the demon princes."
I didn’t think his eyes could open any wider, but at the
word demon, they all but popped out of his
head. "Demon princes?" he asked, his voice a hoarse
whisper.
I shifted the case again and leaned forward, speaking
quickly, aware that a faint note of desperation had tinged
my voice. "You know, Satan’s big guns. The head honchos of
Hell. The demon lords. Anyone can raise a demon, but it
takes a special person with special powers to raise a
demon lord."
Antoine blinked.
"Yeah, I know, I think it’s a bit out there, too, but
you’d be surprised what people believe. Even so, it’s a
fascinating subject. I’ve made quite a study of
demonsnot that I believe they really exist outside
of man’s imaginationand found there are whole cults
revolving around the idea of demons and the power they
wield over mortals. I heard there’s a group in San
Francisco who is trying to get a demon elected into public
office. Ha ha, like anyone would notice?"
The blinking stopped. Antoine stared at me with a blank
look in his eyes. I decided my little foray into joke-land
was probably pushing the Anglo-Franco boundaries. Not to
mention that the minutes were ticking by at an alarming
rate. "Yeah, well, I don’t guarantee the usefulness of the
items, I just deliver them. So, if everything is in order,
do you think I could go? I’m supposed to get this
aquamanile to its owner at five, and it’s already past
three. This is my first job as a courier, you see, and my
unclehe’s my bosstold me that if I screw up
this delivery, I’m off the payroll, and since a very
stupid judge in California ordered me to pay my ex-husband
alimony just because Alan, my ex, is a lazy slob who likes
to hang around the beach and ogle the fake-boobed girls
rather than get off his surfer ass and work for a living
like the rest of us, it’s kind of important that I keep
this job, and to keep it means that I have to get the
aquamanile to the woman who bought it from Uncle Damian."
Antoine looked a bit stunned until I nudged the hand that
held my documents, then he pursed his lips as he shot me a
quelling glare. He nodded toward my case. "You will open
it. I must examine the object and ensure it matches the
pictures presented."
I stifled yet another sigh of frustration as I fished the
keys out of my neck pouch before unlocking the case.
Antoine’s glare turned to an open-mouthed look of wonder
as I peeled back the protective foam padding and laid open
the soft linen cloth that was wrapped around the
aquamanile. "Sacre futur du bordel de Dieu!"
"Yeah, it’s pretty impressive isn’t it?" I looked fondly
at the dragon. It was about six inches high, all coiled
tail, gleaming scales, and glittering emerald eyes. It was
one of the few dragons I’d ever seen depicted without
wings.
Antoine reached out to touch the golden dragon, but I
quickly wrapped the linen back over it. "Sorry, look but
don’t touch. " His nostrils flared dramatically. I hurried
to sooth his ruffled feathers. "Not even the X-ray guys
got to touch it. If you’ll take a peek at the appraiser’s
valuation of the piece, I think you’ll see why it’s better
not to."
He glanced at the appraiser’s sheet and swore under his
breath before brandishing his stamp on my passport and the
dragon’s documents. "All is in order. You may continue."
I closed up the case, locked it, and tucked the keys back
into my neck pouch, giving Antoine a cheery smile as I
slung the bag containing my clothing onto my
shoulder. "Thanks."
"One moment" he said, stopping me with an upraised
hand. I held my breath, worried he was going to insist on
something that would keep me from making my appointment
with Madame Deauxville. It would be just my luck that
Antoine would decide I needed a full body search.
I tried to look innocent and friendly and not in the least
like someone who would smuggle something into the country
in a convenient body cavity. "Hmm?"
He glanced around quickly, then stepped closer to me, his
voice dropping. "You are an expert in demons but you do
not believe in them?"
I shook my head, not wishing to get into a philosophical
conversation while the clock was ticking. "I’m not really
an expert, I’ve just studied a few medieval texts about
them."
"Demons are very bad."
I shrugged, and edged sideways. "Not really. According to
the texts I’ve read, they’re actually rather stupid. I
think people fear the thought of them because they don’t
know how to control them."
He leaned closer, the stale odor of cigarette smoke
clinging to him, making my nose wrinkle. "And you don’t
fear them?"
I shook my head again, edging even further away.
His dark eyes lit for a moment with a deep red light,
making him suddenly look a whole lot more ominous than a
simple customs inspector. "You should," he said, then
turned away, gesturing the next person in line to his
table.
"Hoo, I guess there’re weirdoes all over the world," I
mumbled to myself as I pushed my way through the crowd
toward the exit, careful to keep both hands on the handle
of the black case. My clothing and personal items I could
afford to lose, but this job was last chancemy only
chance of getting ahead since the dot.com I owned went
belly up. If I messed this up, I’d be jobless again. With
no unemployment benefits left, and a beach bum to support,
I had to have work, something that would allow me to live
while paying Alan the huge wad of money the court decided
I owed him.
Men. Bah!
It took me another fifteen minutes to figure out the signs
in the airport concourses and find where the taxis were.
Beth, Uncle Damian’s secretary, said Orly had signs in
English, but Beth liednot only was there no English,
nothing I saw written on the signs matched the handy
little phrases in the French for Francophobes book
I had bought to get me through the next day and a half.
"Um...bonjour," I said to a bored-looking taxi
driver who stood leaning on his car, picking at his teeth.
"Parlez-vous Anglais?"
"Non," he said without stopping the teeth picking.
"Oh. Um. Do you know if any of the other taxi drivers
parlez Anglais? Knowez-vous if le taxi drivers parlez
Anglais?"
He gave me a look that should have shamed me, but I was
beyond being ashamed of going to France without knowing a
single word of French except what I found in the
guidebook. I had a job to do, I just wanted it done.
"Look, I’m doing the best I can, OK? I want to go to the
Rue...oh, just a sec, let me look in the book..." I hugged
the black case to my chest with one arm while I rooted
around in my bag for the French guide. "Je veux aller à
la Rue Sang d'Innocents."
The taxi driver stopped picking his teeth to
grimace. "That is the worst French I have ever heard, and
I have heard much bad French."
"You do speak English!" I said, slamming my guide
shut. "You said you didn’t! And I can’t help it if what I
said was wrong, that’s what the book said."
"It wasn’t much wrong, but your accent..." he shuddered
delicately, then with a sweeping bow, opened the door to
his taxi. "Very well, I will take you to the Rue Sang
d'Innocents, but it will cost you."
"How much?" I asked as I slid into the back seat, still
clutching my case. I had the euros Uncle Damian had given
me, but I knew they were only enough to cover my hotel
bill for the night, two meals, and minor incidentals like
the taxi rides.
The taxi driver tossed my bag into the other side and got
into the front seat. "The journey will cost you thirty-six
euros, but the ride will cost you more."
"Huh?"
He smiled at me in his rear view mirror. "By the time we
arrive at the Rue Sang d'Innocents, you will know
how to say three things in French. With those three
things, you will be able to go anywhere in Paris."
I agreed to his terms, and since I was early for my
appointment with Madame Deauxville, had him wait for me
while I ran into the hotel where Beth had booked me. I
checked in, dropped my bag on the bed, pulled a comb
through my curls so I looked less like a crazed woman and
more like a professional courier, and dashed back
downstairs to where Rene and his taxi were waiting for me.
At five minutes to five the taxi pulled up next to a six
story cream-colored building with high arched doorways and
windows graced by intricate black metal grills.
"Wow," I breathed as I leaned out of the window to peer up
at the house. "What a gorgeous building. It looks
so...French!"
Rene reached backwards through his window and opened my
door. I grabbed my things and got out onto the cobblestone
street, my mouth still hanging open as I stared up at the
house.
"You see that all the houses here are old mansions. It is
a very exclusive neighborhood. Ile Saint-Louis
itself is only six blocks long and two blocks wide. And
now, you will pay me exactly thirty-six euros, and recite
for me please the phrases I have taught you."
I dragged my eyes off the house and smiled as I handed
Rene his money. "If someone annoys me, I say voulez-
vous cesser de me cracher dessus pendant que vous
parlez."
"Will you stop spitting on me while you are speaking,"
Rene translated with a nod.
"And if I need help with anything, I say j'ai une
grenouille dans mon bidet."
"I have a frog in my bidet. Yes, very good. And the last
one?"
"The last I should reserve for any guy who hits on me when
I don’t want him tot'as une tête a faire sauter
les plaques d'egouts."
"You have a face that would blow off the cover of a
manhole. Oui, tres bon. You will do. And for your
meeting with the important lady, bon chance, eh?"
"Thanks, Rene. I appreciate the lessons. You just never
know when you need to tell someone there’s an amphibian in
your bidet."
"One moment, I have something for you." He rustled around
in a small brown bag for a moment, then pulled out a
battered card and handed it to me with the air of someone
presenting an object of great value. "I am available for
hire as a driver. You pay me, I drive you around Paris,
show you all of the sites you must see. You can call me on
my mobile number anytime."
"Thanks. I don’t know that I’ll be in Paris long enough
for a chauffeur to drive me around, but if I ever need a
driver, you’ll be the one I call." I saluted him with the
card, then tucked it away in my neck pouch.
He drove off with a friendly wave and a faint puff of
black exhaust. I turned back to the impressive building,
squared my shoulders, and after a quick look around to
make sure no one was watching me, stepped into the doorway
to press the buzzer labeled Deauxville.
"I am confident," I muttered to myself. "I am a
professional. I know exactly what I am doing. I am not at
all freaked out by being in a different country where the
only thing I know how to do is complain about frogs and
insult people. I am a cool, calm, and collected. I
am...not being answered."
I buzzed again. Nothing happened. A quick glance at my
watch confirmed that I was two minutes early. Surely
Madame Deauxville was in?
I buzzed once more, leaning on the buzzer this time. I
tried putting my ear to the door, but couldn’t hear
anything. A glance at the window showed me whythe
walls of the building looked to be at least three feet
thick.
"Well, hell," I swore, stepping back so I could look up at
the building. I knew from the instructions Uncle Damian
had given me that Madame Deauxville was on the second
floor. The red and cream drapes visible through the
slightly opened windows didn’t move at all. Nothing moved
anywhere on the second floor...or on any of the floors,
for that matter. Since it was a pleasant June evening, I
expected people to be arriving home, bustling around doing
their evening shopping, strolling down the street, gazing
upon the Seine, etc., but there was no movement at all in
the house.
I looked down the street, the hairs on the back of my neck
slowly standing on end. There was no movement on the
street either. No people, no cars, no birds...nothing. Not
even a flower bobbed in the slight breeze from the river.
I looked behind me. The cross street was the Rue Saint-
Louis en l'Ile, a busy street with stores and
restaurants, and lots of shops. It had taken Rene ten
minutes to navigate a couple of blocks because the traffic
and shoppers were so dense, but where I stood the noise of
said traffic and shoppers was oddly filtered, as if the
whole of Rue Sang d'Innocents was swathed in cotton
wool, leaving it an oasis of stillness and silence in a
city known for its liveliness.
"The word creepy doesn’t even begin to cover the
situation," I said aloud, just to hear something. Unease
rippled through me as I held my case tightly, giving
Madame Deauxville’s bell one more long ring. The skin on
the back of my neck tightened even more as I noticed that
the door to the building wasn’t shut properly.
"Someone must have been in a rush to leave this morning,"
I told the door, trying to tamp down on the major case of
the willies the silent street was giving me. "Someone was
just late for work, and they didn’t quite close the door.
That’s all. There’s nothing foreboding in a door that
hasn’t been shut all the way. There’s nothing eerie in
that at all. There’s nothing creepy about a street...oh,
blast. Hello?" I pushed the door open and took a step into
a tiny hall. The entrance narrowed into a dark passage
beyond a brown-paneled stairway that led upwards. "Anyone
here? I’m looking for Madame Deauxville. Hellooooooo?"
I expected the last notes of my hello to echo up the
stairwell, but strangely, my words were muffled, as if
they had been absorbed into the walls, filtered by the
same strange effect that kept the street outside as quiet
as a tomb.
"I would have to think of a tomb," I grumbled to myself as
I carefully closed the door behind me, turning to start up
the stairs to the second floor. "There are times when it
absolutely does not pay to have a good imagination."
There were two doors in the tiny hall stretching the
length of the second-floor stairs. One bore a silver plate
with the word Deauxville written on it in a fancy script
that screamed expensive. The other door, I assumed, was a
second entrance to the apartment. I stepped up to the main
door, one arm holding the case tight to my chest, the
other upraised to knock. Just as my knuckles were about to
touch the glossy oak of the door, a wave of dread and
foreboding, a sense of something being very, very wrong
swept over me. The sensation was so strong I stepped
backwards until the coolness of the paneling seeped
through the thin cotton of my dress. I clutched the case
and struggled to breathe, my chest tight with dread. The
feeling of unease that had set in as soon as Rene left
swelled into something much more frightening, leaving me
with goose bumps on my arms, and a warning voice in my
head shrieking at me to leave the building that very
second, if not sooner.
Something horrible had been in that apartment.
Something...unnatural.
"I am confident," I ground out through my teeth, and
forced my feet forward to the door. "It’s just an
eccentric collector, nothing evil. There is nothing to be
afraid of. I am a professional. I can do this."
The door swung open at the first brush of my hand against
it.
I stood frozen in the doorway, the skin on my back
crawling with horror as I looked down the short hall into
what must be the living room of the apartment. Tiny little
motes of dust danced lazily in the late afternoon sunshine
that streamed through the tall floor-to-ceiling arched
windows, spilling in a ruby pool on a carpet of deeper
red. A bouquet of fresh flowers sat on an antique table
between two of the windows, the sharp scent of them
detectable even from where I stood. The ceilings were
high, cream-colored to compliment the robin’s egg blue
walls, the edges scalloped with intricate molding. Along
one wall I could see a highly polished antique desk, with
a red upholstered matching chair sitting before it at an
angle, as if its occupant had arisen just a moment before.
Everything was lovely, beautiful, expensive, just exactly
what I expected in the apartment of a rich woman who lived
in an exclusive area of Paris.
Everything except the body, that is. Suspended from a
chandelier, a woman’s body was doubled over, hanging from
her hands tied behind her back, her body swinging slightly
above a black circle of ash that had been drawn on the
lovely red carpet, a circle inscribed with twelve symbols.
The dead woman was Madame Deauxville, of that I was sure.
"J'ai une grenouille dans mon bidet," I said, and
wished fervently that the worst of my problems were frogs.
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